RUNAWAY? HIDE? OR PUSH ON ... FORGIVE AND PLAY!

We have been definitely busy downsizing and fixing our next spot, so I haven't blogged much! But while going through things a few things have come back across my heart lately that made me think about how kids forgive one another..... better than we do!!! When you are hurt by someone, do you RUNAWAY? Do you HIDE? Maybe you PUSH ON ....which feels right ..... but do you (speaking to myself) FORGIVE? When I am hurt by someone I do runaway and I hide to protect myself and I push on .... but usually I can't get past the fact that I love that person who hurt me or disappointed me and it doesn't go away. SO I am learning and wanting to FORGIVE THEM, SO I CAN CONTINUE TO LOVE THEM .... either closely or at a slight distance. BUT I CAN LOVE THEM IN SPITE OF HURT .... I CAN and I DO. It also made me remember how the children played when they were all here last year.....they had the greatest of times and couldn't wait to be together..... then they would get selfish and fight or get mad or hurt at the other...... but usually five minutes later they were back to normal having a great time. That is what I want to learn ..... to get over myself and get over hurts!!! And to learn not to hurt others!! I am trying ..... it is "THANK GOODNESS" not a trait of God .... to runaway, to hide, to just push on, to pout and hold a grudge or guard the hurt in His heart feeding on it..... I have much still to learn at the age of 65!!! Praise God, I can still learn and He can still be patient with me. And thank goodness He loves me and He loves them equally! Who was hurt more? Jesus in His being rejected and dying in humiliation on the cross or all of my past hurts in the past? Then look how His Father lifted Him to such a glorious place because of His love for His Son and for us! I think for sure I can get over my hurts and forgive ..... He did. Honestly, each person who has ever hurt me is a person I can't get over because I LOVE them...... so I forgive them!!! ALL! And I HOPE they will forgive me. I am working on it with His help!! Blessings to you all!

SEEK MY FACE...

It has been so hot outside and the drought is something we can't control. We humans are so used to controlling every aspect of our lives that we can ... but there are some things we can't control. I found this scripture while doodling and drawing old fabric scraps and watching the children play BLISSFULLY with no worries. "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose trust is the Lord. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends it's roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes; but it's leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought, nor cease to yield fruit." Jeremiah 17:7,8. I just thought it was something to give us thoughts of the HOPE if we SEEK HIS FACE....a quote in my devotional on the 6th. I hope you have a BLESSED day and REST in HIS ARMS of CARE. ......and I hope you get to paint !!!

NEW REFLECTIONS....

This was fun....just playing with unlikely stuff while I was thinking about being FREER..... "free" photos from "The Pioneer Woman's " Blog...................................................................................................................................................... I recently (this week!!) read "The Pioneer Woman's" blog about her story of meeting her "Marlboro Man"....from "Black Heels to Tractor Wheels" as she calls it.....and to my surprise I was "totally" captured in the whirlwind of her life changing events for the few months leading up to her new life on the prairie!! I NEVER read novels or romance stories.....I usually just read the "scriptures" which are as well full of adventure and real life events that change your life.....but why was I sooo captivated by her story of those months and how she met her Marlboro Man? I even talked to my Hubby about it.....it moved something in me that has been laying deeply covered by life lately....especially the last five years or fifteen years!!..... or more...twenty five!?!! I have continued to push myself to be busy with all the "talents" the Lord has graciously given me.... art, sewing, decorating , keeping the gallery open, taking new classes, learning new and wonderful art, stressing over the B&B days coming up and scheduling sweet people....sort of a dread because I feel like I'm constantly, mentally on a fast and busy expressway, having to keep my eye out to not miss the correct exits, so I don't lose momentum with being sure all is planned and organized and accomplished, and painted and framed and finished......and so I don't waste time to be able to get it all accomplished....never really relaxing....being lazy in a semi-depression...yes....but never really relaxing.....kind of how "Ree" started to realize she felt about her life in L.A.....in the "Pioneer Woman's" romance story.....she was young and falling madly in love with THE man of her life and a life she never dreamed she would be experiencing....ever in her life or in her wildest imagination..... and she became excited that she was actually being FREED from who she THOUGHT she was and freed from continuing to live out who she THOUGHT she was....!! ...maybe living a roller coaster ride that she didn't know how to get off of!! ....an OKAY roller coaster....but a fast moving one that had a tight seat belt that would be hard to unbuckle from the momentum and jump from! WELL.....the strangest thing has come over me this week after being glued to reading and absorbing her adventure of a new life .... and also of some recent events that have affected my life in a sad way.... sad for some (close to me, that I love) who have chosen to throw away their life....by not knowing when to unbuckle and jump out of that roller coaster....that seemingly exciting roller coaster ride..... It has all really had me reflecting this week.....as I shared with Dick..... I want "off" this roller coaster I am on and have been on for years......I want to sit and read a book and not feel pressured for time .....I want to sit on an expanse of a porch and look at the sunset....and watch birds for a "long" time.....I want to just take off on an adventure when I feel like it....in the dirty car with him, with the kids in our life....not having to worry about schedules, commitments, work, money or any pressing obligations.....that are mostly un nessessary. I want to visit West Texas where I grew up, I would visit Spain where I cherished my life as a 9 to 12 yr old child, but it's just too far and too many crowds and pressure of travel, plans etc......I just want to strike out in my sweats or whatever I grab to wear.... throw them in a paper bag and go.....just start driving, stop in an old motel,(do they have those anymore?) .. buy a Delaware Punch and peanuts and not be in a hurry to go anywhere in particular....but just to see the wide expanses of plains, maybe wheat, cows, lots of cows, smell dirt and cow manure....just like "Ree" does now..... on her prairie.....I grew up going to a farm, helping to feed cattle, haul hay, gather eggs, eat homemade wild plum jelly on hot fresh biscuits and maybe gravy and homemade ice cream and fresh fried catfish from the Sandy Creek .... which was usually dried up .... but they always brought fish to Grandma's to fry up....so there had to be water somewhere in that little river. It's funny....I haven't missed "ANY" of that for years!!!...... until I read The Pioneer Woman's blog.....and I thought how wise she was to follow her heart ......and I don't feel like I'm following MY heart anymore anymore .... I feel like other things, ....obligations are "driving" my heart and it is soo used to doing those things that it doesn't even recognize the tiredness of it all .....of riding on that roller coaster for so long....which has been great, but I'm telling you....it is time to jump off.... and just walk a little while. I'm not sure what all this means..... but I am actually TIRED of ART ... at least producing art to sell .... I've been doing it since 1983 and it has been an incredible gift ....to me....to others....but something needs to change.....I feel like it is all finally burying me....smothering me....and I need air!....MY AIR....not any other air. CRAZY?.....maybe it is my age ....? I'm way through with menopause and THAT has been life giving in itself! I want to GO somewhere.....where there is not very many people or pressure....I want to just be.....JUST BE....the child I am....and that belongs to an awesome and loving and understanding GOD.....I want to be FREER in HIM than ever before in my life and I want all things that are incumbrances to being freer in Jesus to be pushed aside....away! ....if they are supposed to be.....and HE definitely knows if they are in the way....I just hope "I" will recognize and KNOW too. Here is a piece of photoshop art I worked on tonight during all my thinking.....for NO ONE ...just enjoying the process and creative playing....it is me in my simple plain Vogue tailored wedding dress of 1966 that my Mother made....but with a new creation of zinnia (from my yard) petaled Spanish looking "flowing and frilly" dress that adorns my old bodice and adorns my head....with a crown.....because "I am" His beloved child....(by His grace)...... I am stubborn, lazy, fatter, mixed up, strong willed, tired but very happy to be HIS child...."thankful" that no matter what....I AM HIS CHILD through His Mercy and Grace ...and always will be......eternally. THAT is something I CAN rest in.....and I think He is giggling about it! I wonder what tomorrow will bring.....? Hugs to you all.....and thanks for listening....and pray big for those around and near your heart that are hurting in some serious way....do it right now.

A FULL LIFE...

OK, I DID get this picture up, our mermaid Peyton! That's my girl! She loved her dress..... 16x20 in progress collage... like my house... unfinished! A woman on a mission!! That's how I feel .... but with the children in tow! That is a wicked little purse ... but it has some money in it .... YAY! My art studio mess .... I love the metal letters in the window ...A R T Mushed paint, rolled a pointed roller thing over it and wallah.... I saw a jar with a flower.....this was fun. Used oil pastels over acrylic ... new for me. Loving those colors from the pastels.... gotta have more! Finished page for the GUT ART JOURNAL.... An idea coming from one of the field trips .... these were old photos (copies) of us when young and more shapely!....or I guess I should say LESS shapely! My Mother sewed my "Vogue" pattern dress...my whole wedding with cake, reception and four bridesmaids cost $500.00! Yes, the dot is in the right place! Collaged tissue around him in his flight suit (1967).... this is NOT Michael Jackson, (with the great lips and black glove, chuckle) but it is my honey ....I want to pursue doing something with these..... it will come to me. A quick line drawing with color pencil wash from a woman on the TV.... quickly done. Good practice.... These two (of five) beautiful children (after church) are awaiting the finished home they will have .... little by little they work on it ....it was a condemned house that got to be saved and done for a family! All their saved money and efforts and prayer! Many of you know or remember Elizama, my sort of adopted child.... known her since she was nine (now 21) .... this is her precious baby girl, a happy child, and Mom and Dad are so proud of her! She laughs a lot! Here, she has on a dress that MY MOTHER made me from feed sacks in 1947!! I still have it.... my Mother embroidered little flowers on it. We had to try it out for a photo! These are some of Pilar's ART (age 6 to 7) she would do this all day long!! We need to loosen up like the kids do with their art! And YES, SHE is a WINNER! I tried to post a picture of my grand daughter in the Mermaid dress I made her and couldn't get it off the email...will try another way later.... she is my heart! Hello to all .... I know I have not posted in a while. Here are photos and art projects ( unfinished) of what is going on in my life at the moment. Just too much to write about. However the art of mine is from some of the reflections of field trips taken on the GUT ART CLASS.... I'm very behind ....but I have taken a ton of notes and have drawings that will go in my GUT ART JOURNAL......behind?..... well, because I was blessed with an opportunity to do nine pieces of work with a deadline of three weeks, which is ending tomorrow. I can't show them and will tell about it when it all comes together ..... since it is only my work for another group. So with that I have had my head swirling in the studio ....painting nights and sleeping days.... as there are no interruptions at night. And it is probably my body clock anyway! Sleeping from 7AM to 3PM, then doing regular life...and then painting from 7PM to 7AM in heaven ... I must say. This project came as a result of much prayer and soul searching and direction that the Lord wanted me to go in my life, plus a few other things. WELL, He is MAKING it happen .... WHY am I surprised!!? Also, you will see little precious children in my life, one of the Mom's lived with me for four months when she was fifteen (now 21).... the other children are from church and a favorite family.... and then Pilar's Art.... my little artist! I keep her in sketch pads and markers...and she will draw or paint all day long! We have four full note books (sketch pads ...9x12 thick from Wal-Mart) that she has filled. Some day when she is grown I will give them to her.... so they won't get thrown away. Any who..... as you can see, I am behind in my class, but live a FULL life! And thank goodness the Lord motivated my hubby to take care of me with food during all this!! ENJOY HIS BLESSINGS!!! I AM.....

A FINISHED PIECE....?

I love my head band ..... HOPE ....there is always HOPE! I found this great quote and decided I needed to WEAR IT...."The Lord has an incredible destiny for you..." I'll take that!! A FINISH ...? The last post was called "a start" ..... I'm still not sure about this so called "Self-Portrait" .... it may never be finished .... so many things wouldn't work .... certain colors on top of the dried medium ....too slick for paint to stick ... etc .... so I've definately learned a lot! .....BUT MOSTLY, about myself!!! This piece revealed things about my life..... like it is very cluttered, and complex....which I know I am... not necessarily a good thing. I discovered that who I am begins with my Mother, the heart of the family and a Father who was a hard worker, and provided for us all, even later if we needed it. He also went to war to fight for our country and I'm proud of that...as did my husband. The baby bracelet with my maiden name encircles my Father and Mother...representing my natural birth. The vase is blooming as children do, then the strong thick branches are my strong personality and stuborness.....but there is greenery.... or growth....with eventually a flower or two....working thru the growth to finally bloom through difficulties that arose in my life.... we all have them, but the flower finally comes. I love birds and lots of details in life ... maybe too many details .... guess what.... I talk a lot! No surprise. The two whimsical portraits on the left are my favorites.... the top one was a drawing by a special little boy at age seven. It is the way he sees me. I like the way he sees me. The bottom one was altered with the computer, ... I would love it on a business card. The portrait on the right is a one line (sort of) drawing that doesn't focus on the age, wrinkles, grey hair or sallow skin and no reading glasses. I decided to ignore THOSE details!! I couldn't get my hair dark enough with the pencils I was using.... anyway, the Psalm 139 help me to realize that I was formed and known about when I was in my Mother's womb. And that I don't have to be perfect to be HIS child.... but that He knows me and loves me and has worked in my life to help me become who I really am..... it begins as a child....as seen in the lower left in the pieces that show the importance of children to Jesus. Matthew 18:1-5 was a crucial teaching for me,...read on further....6,7,...etc.... showing me that He actually protected me in many situations growing up. When I found Romans 8:16 and decided to add it to all the other elements, I teared up because I had actually put elements that told who I was... and now who I am in my spirit... His Child ... inspite of struggles ....He began the work in me, and I know it and am so thankful for His persistence and patience , His grace and mercy, and finally His gift of love. I know ... it's all about ME ... but it is a self portrait ... with a lot of details that came out....a story. It will stay in my studio.....it was just for me.

A START....

Here is a peek of what was supposed to be a self portrait .... a journal page ... which quickly became a larger piece ..... and as usual I made it more than it was going to be! I'll explain some of the little details when I finish it. These pictures are the pieces and some of my art glued on a wrapped canvas, size 12x24 ... a little larger than a journal page. Doing part of it made me tear up ... it really struck a cord in me. I felt very thankful. I will now start to embellish it and add color and drawing on top... I think anyway ! There must be something in my personality that likes to take a mess or broken down house or something thrown away or of no visual value and try to make it into something special. We'll see if I can do it with this. Of course it may only be special to me....which is the driving force behind us artists! How we see... what we see. Hope you enjoy it... so far that is ....keep in touch to see the final results .... good or bad! Have a good week!!

MY PRESENT FROM ALICIA...

CRISTO ES BUENO means,...Christ is good...like "A Good Thing!" Thank you, Alicia! This is the very pretty art of Alicia, a young girl who sits beside me at church. She knows I like art and she and some of the children have given me their drawings from time to time....it is a "truly" appreciated gift that makes my heart happy! Thank you, Alicia and thanks to the other children too. Be sure to click on the art to see all the details of the little hearts...that was some work!