AUNT EDDIE MAE....

Today was a sad day in many ways. The funeral of my Mother's little sister, in her eighties, went home to be with the Lord. That is a good thing .... that you go home to the Lord. I was overwhelmed with tears in church last night, as I thought of how she was the last of "that generation" in our family, and how it made me miss my Mother. She died in 2001, but it is still hard because she was so very special to us all. I have a brother named after my Aunt Eddie ... his name is Edward, but it was with her in mind when they called him "Eddie". He is still living, but I miss him because he has separated himself from me ..... for many reasons I can think of, but not sure "exactly" why. We really never got along after we were adults. I didn't go to the funeral, a short trip, today, ... too vulnerable .... it was just too hard this time around ... it is too painful. Selfish, I know, ... but I just chose to hide away. I seem okay as long as I stay away and keep busy with other things. Well, I stayed away today and sat in the studio to try to do art .... I had an overwhelming sadness. I had started this piece last week but it didn't seem to go anywhere, just didn't come together and had no desire to finish it ...... until I looked at a page from scripture still laying on my desk from doing the beatitudes .... and there it was .... it just popped out at me!!! Matthew 5:23,24. Click on it to read it.... It is in the old scripture language on the art, but it hit home for sure and it was sooo convicting considering my brother. I DO love him and I DO forgive him and hope he WILL forgive me for what it is that has him so angry at me. ANYWAY, loss is hard, either in death or in life....both have loss. This art piece was easier for me to do with him in mind and what the Lord might be doing through it .... either for him in time to come or for me today. I added the hearts .... for the desire of a loving relationship as a brother and sister, which I withheld from him for years in anger ..... very hurtful to a younger brother. The little bird is flying with a heart in his beak to hopefully drop it in the right place ... for healing ..... before it is too late. I will miss Aunt Eddie and do I love you, Eddie, my little brother. Blessings.....

Contentment in Tiny Things...

THIS SONG "SPEAKS" MY HEART ...Jesus King of Angels by Fernando Ortega...tried to add music unsuccessfully....it is my all time favorite song....find it....sleep with it...embed it in your heart....it is beautiful....beautiful....album called Hymns Mother's dishes...she loved roses....as I do....I miss you.....so. Is Christmas a hard time for you? It is hard for many people for many reasons.... a lost loved one not present, a family member that won't contact you anymore, a list of Christmas gifts bought from a list that is not in your heart, emptiness, loneliness, no money, debt, too much TV, politics, arrogance, selfishness, disappointment, anger and fear.....just the stress of not getting along, never agreeing, joy squashed.....this comes from a day that was just about full of all of that...all in one day....instead of being spread out over the week..... I wish....and wish some more. Then reflect on the long ago trips to a small poor village in Mexico..... and long to be there at this moment.....mostly women with the men far away working in a foreign land......the women and children surrounded by obvious need and pain, but an inexplicable joy they have because of the ....the thankfulness they have.....expressing thankfulness of another day to be present and alive, of good health with no hospital visits, of having enough work to have provision for their family, thankfulness for each other, of the prodigal son or daughter that returns home, thankful for a God that they love and for His care for them in hard and good times....they are always sooo thankful ....and they have sooo little ....they gather together, eat together, praise together, work together, they give up their bed when you come to visit, they put their resources together to feed you their best meal, they honor and cherish your visits, they want you to share words of wisdom in their little white washed prized church with the beautiful aqua blue tile floor....as though you are God sent......they give you gifts made with their hands that money can't buy.....they sing with you, laugh with you, cry with you. Why do I miss them so?....and I long to go? THEY are the gifts.....the worthy gifts....to one another. I don't know why this Christmas has been so hard, but it has.....I have reflected on so much.....and in my searching and reflections, see the tiny reflected lights in my ever so small tree this year...... I didn't even unpack the normal Christmas stuff....but found this old box of glass balls in the garage in a box that I think were grandma Peck's.....so they are from the forties and fifties.....not so clear and bright and shiny like new ones.....but a "GLOW" comes from them with worn surfaces that reflect warmth and would have many stories to tell. Then just the word... Jesus.... fills my heart in a very special way today .....a longing to know .....more .....but comforted that He covers me in His love ...... giving me contentment today in the tiny things.....resting in His care. A special kind of comfort and care for this Christmas is sent your way....if you are having a hard Christmas.... blessings.... comfort.... hugs... sherry