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Today was a sad day in many ways. The funeral of my Mother's little sister, in her eighties, went home to be with the Lord. That is a good thing .... that you go home to the Lord. I was overwhelmed with tears in church last night, as I thought of how she was the last of "that generation" in our family, and how it made me miss my Mother. She died in 2001, but it is still hard because she was so very special to us all. I have a brother named after my Aunt Eddie ... his name is Edward, but it was with her in mind when they called him "Eddie". He is still living, but I miss him because he has separated himself from me ..... for many reasons I can think of, but not sure "exactly" why. We really never got along after we were adults. I didn't go to the funeral, a short trip, today, ... too vulnerable .... it was just too hard this time around ... it is too painful. Selfish, I know, ... but I just chose to hide away. I seem okay as long as I stay away and keep busy with other things. Well, I stayed away today and sat in the studio to try to do art .... I had an overwhelming sadness. I had started this piece last week but it didn't seem to go anywhere, just didn't come together and had no desire to finish it ...... until I looked at a page from scripture still laying on my desk from doing the beatitudes .... and there it was .... it just popped out at me!!! Matthew 5:23,24. Click on it to read it.... It is in the old scripture language on the art, but it hit home for sure and it was sooo convicting considering my brother. I DO love him and I DO forgive him and hope he WILL forgive me for what it is that has him so angry at me. ANYWAY, loss is hard, either in death or in life....both have loss. This art piece was easier for me to do with him in mind and what the Lord might be doing through it .... either for him in time to come or for me today. I added the hearts .... for the desire of a loving relationship as a brother and sister, which I withheld from him for years in anger ..... very hurtful to a younger brother. The little bird is flying with a heart in his beak to hopefully drop it in the right place ... for healing ..... before it is too late. I will miss Aunt Eddie and do I love you, Eddie, my little brother. Blessings.....
